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Archive for March, 2014

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Important new research has been released showing how to best reduce DEMAND for sex trafficked women and children! It also clears up certain myths about certain ways of reducing sex trafficking…

“As well as profiling buyers the Immigrant Council of Ireland examined if the men ever came across women they believed were being controlled by pimps, were frightened or were trafficked. The results are startling, with over one in four admitting they had come across women and girls they believed were in such situations. A significantly lesser number considered to report this to the authorities, dispelling the myth that buyers are helpful in tackling human trafficking.”

Much more vital info at the link below! Please check it out and share! 🙂

http://www.thejournal.ie/readme/sex-buyers-are-the-last-link-in-chain-of-trafficking-abuse-and-rape-1382076-Mar2014/

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Please support the cause by following us here at this blog, liking us at Facebook, subscribing to our YouTube channels, and following our Twitter accounts. Thanks! ~~
FACEBOOK: AntiPornography.org – Nonreligious, Pro Free Speech, Pro Healthy Sex & Love ~~ http://www.facebook.com/ENDSexploitation ~~
YOUTUBE CHANNELS: AntiPornographyBlog ~~ AntiPornographyOrg ~~ SayNOtoProstitution ~~ ENDSexTrafficDEMAND ~~ ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ PornAddictionHelp ~~ SayNOtoSadomasochism ~~ SafeHealthySexNLove ~~
TWITTER ACCOUNTS: @AntiPornography ~~ @ENDSexTraffic ~~ @ENDProstitution ~~ @ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ @NoSadomasochism ~~ @PornAddictHelp1 ~~ @HealthySexNLove ~~@ExPornStarVLB ~~
Post created by AntiPornography.org Nonprofit Organization ~ Preventing and combating the devastating harms of pornography, prostitution, sex trafficking and sexual slavery, while supporting safe, healthy, equality-based sex, love, and relationships ~

Please make a tax-deductible donation to support the cause if you’re able to. Thanks!

http://www.antipornography.org/donate.html

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Touch a Woman’s Heart – Strip Club Outreach Project is a new AntiPornography.org campaign that reaches out to women in the sex trade and offers them support. 🙂

VIDEO LINK: http://youtu.be/LOZisgYTKew

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To learn more, please visit the website for this project:

https://touchawomansheart.wordpress.com/

Also please make a tax-deductible donation to support this important project if you’re able to:

https://touchawomansheart.wordpress.com/donate/

Or support us through making a donation via our Razoo fundraiser to kickstart this project! 🙂

http://www.razoo.com/story/Touch-A-Woman-S-Heart-Strip-Club-Outreach-Fundraiser

Also please LIKE Touch a Woman’s Heart new Facebook Page! 🙂

https://www.facebook.com/TouchAWomansHeart

Thanks for helping us to help abused and exploited women! 🙂

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Please support the cause by following us here at this blog, liking us at Facebook, subscribing to our YouTube channels, and following our Twitter accounts. Thanks! ~~
FACEBOOK: AntiPornography.org – Nonreligious, Pro Free Speech, Pro Healthy Sex & Love ~~ http://www.facebook.com/ENDSexploitation ~~
YOUTUBE CHANNELS: AntiPornographyBlog ~~ AntiPornographyOrg ~~ SayNOtoProstitution ~~ ENDSexTrafficDEMAND ~~ ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ PornAddictionHelp ~~ SayNOtoSadomasochism ~~ SafeHealthySexNLove ~~
TWITTER ACCOUNTS: @AntiPornography ~~ @ENDSexTraffic ~~ @ENDProstitution ~~ @ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ @NoSadomasochism ~~ @PornAddictHelp1 ~~ @HealthySexNLove ~~@ExPornStarVLB ~~
Post created by AntiPornography.org Nonprofit Organization ~ Preventing and combating the devastating harms of pornography, prostitution, sex trafficking and sexual slavery, while supporting safe, healthy, equality-based sex, love, and relationships ~

Please make a tax-deductible donation to support the cause if you’re able to. Thanks!

http://www.antipornography.org/donate.html

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NEW VIDEO! Ex porn stars Vanessa Belmond & Jessie Rogers tell young women the TRUE RISKS & HARMS of doing porn! They expose the TRUTH about all of the STDs they will get, share all of the LIES they’ll be told, tell how porn will mess up their relationships with partners and family, how porn doesn’t really pay as much as people think, how doing porn will ruin their chances for getting a decent job after porn, and how their porn past will basically haunt them for the REST OF THEIR LIVES.

~~ WARNING! Graphic & disturbing content! ~~

VIDEO LINK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxICDTw1CmM

Please don’t forget to like, favorite, comment and share, both here and at YouTube! And please also SUBSCRIBE! Thanks! 🙂

HELPFUL LINKS FROM VIDEO DESCRIPTION:

My Message to Women Considering Doing Porn (From an Ex-Porn Star Who’s Been There & Learned the Harms of the Industry the Hard Way) – Vanessa Belmond

http://www.antipornography.org/expornstar-message-to-women-considering-doing-porn.html

READ ALL of Vanessa’s excellent articles on the harms of pornography, webcamming, stripping & “escorting”

http://www.antipornography.org/ex-porn-star-Vanessa-Belmond.html

VIDEO: Watch our video of Vanessa in the powerful “Date My Porn Star” documentary exposing the harsh truth about porn

http://youtu.be/9HvC_sEURXA

VIDEO: Watch FULL “Date My Porn Star” documentary (WARNING: GRAPHIC)

http://youtu.be/THsQc07gY2Q

http://dai.ly/x16cabq

LISTEN to Vanessa’s RADIO INTERVIEW on the Lana Reid show!

http://talkzone.com/episodes/199/DBI072413.html

Jenna Jameson’s 25 Good Reasons Why No One Would Ever Want To Become a Porn Star

http://www.antipornography.org/Jenna_Jamesons_25_Reasons.html

PLEASE DONATE to support our efforts to help survivors exit the abusive sex industry & transition to healthier lives, and our efforts to assist survivors & others to speak out against the destructive sex trade! Thanks! 🙂

http://antipornography.org/donate.html

NOTE: AntiPornography.org is an IRS approved 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, & all donations are fully tax deductible.

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Please support the cause by following us here at this blog, liking us at Facebook, subscribing to our YouTube channels, and following our Twitter accounts. Thanks! ~~
FACEBOOK: AntiPornography.org – Nonreligious, Pro Free Speech, Pro Healthy Sex & Love ~~ http://www.facebook.com/ENDSexploitation ~~
YOUTUBE CHANNELS: AntiPornographyBlog ~~ AntiPornographyOrg ~~ SayNOtoProstitution ~~ ENDSexTrafficDEMAND ~~ ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ PornAddictionHelp ~~ SayNOtoSadomasochism ~~ SafeHealthySexNLove ~~
TWITTER ACCOUNTS: @AntiPornography ~~ @ENDSexTraffic ~~ @ENDProstitution ~~ @ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ @NoSadomasochism ~~ @PornAddictHelp1 ~~ @HealthySexNLove ~~
Post created by AntiPornography.org Nonprofit Organization ~ Preventing and combating the devastating harms of pornography, prostitution, sex trafficking and sexual slavery, while supporting safe, healthy, equality-based sex, love, and relationships ~

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NEW REPORT: Gail Dines of Stop Porn Culture on their UK conference this past weekend!

[Independent] — If you turn on the television, flick through a magazine or look at billboards, you will see that porn has now become a blueprint for how the media represents women’s bodies. Whether it be Katy Perry writhing around almost naked in a music video, or Miley Cyrus “twerking” with a man almost twice her age (who seems to have a “blurred” understanding of sex), the images that bombard us daily look much like soft-core porn did a few decades ago.

Today there is almost no soft-core porn on the internet, because most of it has migrated into pop culture. What we are left with is a porn industry that is now so hard-core that even some of the big-name porn producers and directors are amazed at how far they can go.

Feminists from six countries convened in London this weekend for a Stop Porn Culture conference that focused on how porn culture shapes our ideas about sexuality, relationships, masculinity, femininity and intimacy. Recognizing that porn images have now been seamlessly woven into our pop culture, thanks mainly to the internet, speakers addressed the multiple harms of bringing up a generation of girls and boys on misogynist images.

One of the key issues discussed at the conference was the way porn fans are becoming increasingly desensitised and are looking for more hard-core content. According to porn director Mitchell Spinelli, fans are becoming “more demanding about wanting to see the more extreme stuff.”

READ THE REST OF THIS ARTICLE AT THE LINK BELOW: (And please don’t forget to like, comment and share to spread the word and support the cause. Thanks! :-))

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/stop-porn-culture-those-who-watch-modern-porn-are-becoming-increasingly-desensitised-9195395.html

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Please support the cause by following us here at this blog, liking us at Facebook, subscribing to our YouTube channels, and following our Twitter accounts. Thanks! ~~
FACEBOOK: AntiPornography.org – Nonreligious, Pro Free Speech, Pro Healthy Sex & Love ~~ http://www.facebook.com/ENDSexploitation ~~
YOUTUBE CHANNELS: AntiPornographyBlog ~~ AntiPornographyOrg ~~ SayNOtoProstitution ~~ ENDSexTrafficDEMAND ~~ ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ PornAddictionHelp ~~ SayNOtoSadomasochism ~~ SafeHealthySexNLove ~~
TWITTER ACCOUNTS: @AntiPornography ~~ @ENDSexTraffic ~~ @ENDProstitution ~~ @ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ @NoSadomasochism ~~ @PornAddictHelp1 ~~ @HealthySexNLove ~~@ExPornStarVLB ~~
Post created by AntiPornography.org Nonprofit Organization ~ Preventing and combating the devastating harms of pornography, prostitution, sex trafficking and sexual slavery, while supporting safe, healthy, equality-based sex, love, and relationships ~

Please make a tax-deductible donation to support the cause if you’re able to. Thanks!

http://www.antipornography.org/donate.html

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Here’s a great video of a policemen sharing how the Nordic Model for prostitution reduces sex trafficking!

NOTE: He lives and works in Sweden where it originated, and it’s his job to arrest sex buyers, so he is an expert!

VIDEO TITLE: Simon Häggström from Swedish police at EWL seminar on prostitution, 1 Oct 2013

VIDEO LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6O4xzzTqSU

INFO: The Nordic or Swedish Model reduces the DEMAND for prostitution by criminalizing the male buyers of sex, while decriminalizing the women in prostitution and helping them as needed, with exit and transition services, etc. And it WORKS to really reduce both prostitution and human trafficking.

This model was just approved by the European Parliament, so hopefully it will be implemented more all over Europe — and then in other places in the world, like here in the United States!

Below is another excellent but shorter video with the same eloquent Swedish policeman, telling it like it is about how effective the Nordic Model is for combating prostitution and sex trafficking. Very informative and inspirational!

VIDEO TITLE: Interview with Mr. Simon Häggström

VIDEO LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXXS8B8pkoA

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Please support the cause by following us here at this blog, liking us at Facebook, subscribing to our YouTube channels, and following our Twitter accounts. Thanks! ~~
FACEBOOK: AntiPornography.org – Nonreligious, Pro Free Speech, Pro Healthy Sex & Love ~~ http://www.facebook.com/ENDSexploitation ~~
YOUTUBE CHANNELS: AntiPornographyBlog ~~ AntiPornographyOrg ~~ SayNOtoProstitution ~~ ENDSexTrafficDEMAND ~~ ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ PornAddictionHelp ~~ SayNOtoSadomasochism ~~ SafeHealthySexNLove ~~
TWITTER ACCOUNTS: @AntiPornography ~~ @ENDSexTraffic ~~ @ENDProstitution ~~ @ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ @NoSadomasochism ~~ @PornAddictHelp1 ~~ @HealthySexNLove ~~
Post created by AntiPornography.org Nonprofit Organization ~ Preventing and combating the devastating harms of pornography, prostitution, sex trafficking and sexual slavery, while supporting safe, healthy, equality-based sex, love, and relationships ~

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Here’s another excellent article on @Belle_Knox that notes how porn is overall still oppressive to ALL WOMEN.

[The Week – Excerpt] – It’s notable, for instance, that the major media venues who are now airing Knox’s feminist editorial are only doing so because she’s a curious sexual tabloid spread. That women’s bodies are easily marketed is no strike against the patriarchy, and that a woman can get attention for her political views only after appealing to male sexual desire certainly doesn’t seem to indicate any serious move in the direction of equality.

But let’s leave aside whether this theoretically breaks the barriers of sexuality and focus on a side of porn that has gotten far less attention in this debate. What material good do women gain from the porn industry?

At the performer-level, porn is a notoriously treacherous place to make a career. While female performers might make more than their male counterparts, most of them just don’t get paid that well, thanks in part to the rise of piracy, cam sites, and the glut of material online. And dwindling profits mean not only pay cuts for performers, but an increased willingness to jockey to meet the demands of a mostly male audience. This competition has two major negative outcomes for Knox’s anti-patriarchal project.

First, it means that male consumers dictate the terms of what’s depicted. As a result, male desire impacts the work and health of performers. For example, a 2012 study found that porn performers in LA had higher rates of STIs than prostitutes working in Nevada; the study authors chalked the prevalence of infections up to the reluctance of studios to enforce condom use because visible condoms aren’t arousing. In other words, the industry drive to respond to male sexual desire could well be the reason performers like Knox are in danger of contracting life-threatening illnesses like HIV. Is this what bucking the patriarchy looks like?

READ THE FULL ARTICLE AT THE LINK BELOW: (And please don’t forget to like, comment and share to spread the word and support the cause. Thanks! :-))

http://theweek.com//article/index/257645/sorry-belle-knox-porn-still-oppresses-women

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Please support the cause by following us here at this blog, liking us at Facebook, subscribing to our YouTube channels, and following our Twitter accounts. Thanks! ~~
FACEBOOK: AntiPornography.org – Nonreligious, Pro Free Speech, Pro Healthy Sex & Love ~~ http://www.facebook.com/ENDSexploitation ~~
YOUTUBE CHANNELS: AntiPornographyBlog ~~ AntiPornographyOrg ~~ SayNOtoProstitution ~~ ENDSexTrafficDEMAND ~~ ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ PornAddictionHelp ~~ SayNOtoSadomasochism ~~ SafeHealthySexNLove ~~
TWITTER ACCOUNTS: @AntiPornography ~~ @ENDSexTraffic ~~ @ENDProstitution ~~ @ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ @NoSadomasochism ~~ @PornAddictHelp1 ~~ @HealthySexNLove ~~@ExPornStarVLB ~~
Post created by AntiPornography.org Nonprofit Organization ~ Preventing and combating the devastating harms of pornography, prostitution, sex trafficking and sexual slavery, while supporting safe, healthy, equality-based sex, love, and relationships ~

Please make a tax-deductible donation to support the cause if you’re able to. Thanks!

http://www.antipornography.org/donate.html

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Good news! After unsuccessfully trying to segregate porn, Vine is no longer allowing it! Yay anti-porn team! 🙂

Note: Documentary nudity and clothed sexually suggestive content is still allowed, but this is still a significant step in the right direction. 🙂

[Digital Trends] – Possibly wary of becoming the go-to site for fans of six-second videos featuring performing genitalia, Vine has moved to ban porn from its service.

“As we’ve watched the community and your creativity grow and evolve, we’ve found that there’s a very small percentage of videos that are not a good fit for our community,” the Vine team said in a roundabout way on its blog Thursday. But then it all becomes perfectly clear: “So we’re making an update to our Rules and Terms of Service to prohibit explicit sexual content.”

Vine said that “more than 99 percent” of users won’t notice anything different, but for the others, there’s likely to be a decreasing amount of pornographic material to peruse in the coming days, weeks and months.

READ THE REST OF THIS STORY AT THE LINK BELOW: (And please don’t forget to like, comment and share to spread the word and support the cause. Thanks! :-))

http://www.digitaltrends.com/mobile/vine-wants-to-eliminate-porn-from-its-site/#!zdoTi

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Please support the cause by following us here at this blog, liking us at Facebook, subscribing to our YouTube channels, and following our Twitter accounts. Thanks! ~~
FACEBOOK: AntiPornography.org – Nonreligious, Pro Free Speech, Pro Healthy Sex & Love ~~ http://www.facebook.com/ENDSexploitation ~~
YOUTUBE CHANNELS: AntiPornographyBlog ~~ AntiPornographyOrg ~~ SayNOtoProstitution ~~ ENDSexTrafficDEMAND ~~ ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ PornAddictionHelp ~~ SayNOtoSadomasochism ~~ SafeHealthySexNLove ~~
TWITTER ACCOUNTS: @AntiPornography ~~ @ENDSexTraffic ~~ @ENDProstitution ~~ @ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ @NoSadomasochism ~~ @PornAddictHelp1 ~~ @HealthySexNLove ~~@ExPornStarVLB ~~
Post created by AntiPornography.org Nonprofit Organization ~ Preventing and combating the devastating harms of pornography, prostitution, sex trafficking and sexual slavery, while supporting safe, healthy, equality-based sex, love, and relationships ~

Please make a tax-deductible donation to support the cause if you’re able to. Thanks!

http://www.antipornography.org/donate.html

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Please check out our new video from our AntiPornographyOrg YouTube channel!

Duke Freshman Teen “Porn Star” Belle Knox Defends Porn as “Empowering.” AntiPornography.org Responds

VIDEO LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYniOsF5p_A

NO, “Belle”/”Lauren,” doing porn is NOT “empowering” for women, nor is it a good way to pay for your college tuition! And anti-porn feminists are NOT the problem as to why doing porn is harmful for women!

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Please like, comment and share both here and at YouTube to support the cause! Thanks! 🙂

RELATED LINKS FROM YOUTUBE VIDEO DESCRIPTION:

The Duke Porn Star Isn’t as Empowered as She Claims – Even Playboy is skeptical of her feminist porn argument http://ideas.time.com/2014/03/05/the-duke-porn-star-isnt-as-empowered-as-she-claims/

VIDEO: Does “FEMINIST PORN” really exist? What do YOU think? – Can PORNOGRAPHY ever REALLY be FEMINIST?
(With AntiPornography.org Volunteer Maya S.)

http://youtu.be/Lml-_fb9vU0

I’m The Duke University Freshman Porn Star & For The First Time I Am Telling the Story In My Words

http://www.xojane.com/sex/duke-university-freshman-porn-star

I’m Finally Revealing My Name & Face As the Duke Porn Star

http://www.xojane.com/sex/belle-knox-duke-university-freshman-porn-star

Portrait of a porn star – Duke freshman stands behind her alter-ego

“If I could do it again, I don’t know if I would’ve done porn. I don’t know if I would’ve gone to Duke.” “After how I’ve been treated, I sometimes find myself wondering…. I had scholarships to other schools where I would’ve had to pay nothing. But I chose Duke because I thought it would be a great place for me—I thought that I belonged here.”

http://www.dukechronicle.com/articles/2014/02/14/portrait-porn-star

Meet Belle Knox, the Duke Porn Star (As You Might Have Heard)

http://playboysfw.kinja.com/meet-belle-knox-the-duke-porn-star-as-you-might-have-1535822551?tiger=_

“Whose Porn, Whose Feminism?” – “Feminist porn” is not compatible with feminism
– Maya S., AntiPorn.org Volunteer

http://fairobserver.com/article/whose-porn-whose-femnism

STUDY: A Comparison of Male & Female Directors in Pornography: What Happens When Women Are at the Helm? (Overview w/ semi-graphic images)

Click to access Sun(2008).pdf

FULL STUDY:

http://citation.allacademic.com/meta/p_mla_apa_research_citation/1/7/2/3/8/pages172388/p172388-1.php (Scroll down on page)

Critics Worry that Feminist Porn Isn’t Really Feminist

http://jezebel.com/5903985/critics-worry-that-feminist-porn-isnt-really-feminist

Can Porn Be Feminist?

http://thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/04/21/can-porn-be-feminist.html

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DONATE TO SUPPORT! Thanks! 🙂

http://www.antipornography.org/donate.html

AntiPornography.org is a 501(c)(3) IRS-approved nonprofit organization

THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT! 🙂

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Please support the cause by following us here at this blog, liking us at Facebook, subscribing to our YouTube channels, and following our Twitter accounts. Thanks! ~~
FACEBOOK: AntiPornography.org – Nonreligious, Pro Free Speech, Pro Healthy Sex & Love ~~ http://www.facebook.com/ENDSexploitation ~~
YOUTUBE CHANNELS: AntiPornographyBlog ~~ AntiPornographyOrg ~~ SayNOtoProstitution ~~ ENDSexTrafficDEMAND ~~ ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ PornAddictionHelp ~~ SayNOtoSadomasochism ~~ SafeHealthySexNLove ~~
TWITTER ACCOUNTS: @AntiPornography ~~ @ENDSexTraffic ~~ @ENDProstitution ~~ @ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ @NoSadomasochism ~~ @PornAddictHelp1 ~~ @HealthySexNLove ~~
Post created by AntiPornography.org Nonprofit Organization ~ Preventing and combating the devastating harms of pornography, prostitution, sex trafficking and sexual slavery, while supporting safe, healthy, equality-based sex, love, and relationships ~

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In case you missed it, the Nordic Model for prostitution was approved last week by the European Parliament! Yay team!! 🙂

[IB Times] — A vote at the European Parliament that supports the ‘Nordic Model’ of prostitution has been voted through with a large majority.

Put forward by Labour London MEP Mary Honeyball, the model of prostitution law criminalises the client instead of the sex worker.

At the vote, 343 members voted in favour of the report, 139 against and 105 people abstained. Commenting on the outcome, Honeyball said: “Today’s outcome represents a vital signal from MEPs that we cannot continue to tolerate the exploitation of women. Rather than blanket legalization, parliament has backed the more nuanced approach already practised in Sweden as a means of tackling prostitution. This punishes men who treat women’s bodies as a commodity, without criminalising women who are driven into sex work.

“The idea that prostitution is the ‘oldest profession’ leads some to think we should accept it as a fact of life – that all we can do is regulate it a little better. This course of action leads to an increase in prostitution levels, normalising the purchase of sex and ingraining the inequalities which sustain the sex industry.

“The outcome of today’s vote symbolises the changing attitudes of EU countries on this issue, and the desire of member states to learn from one another. I hope today’s result will encourage member states including the UK to be radical and ambitious enough to go Swedish.”

READ THE REST OF THIS STORY AT THE LINK BELOW: (And please don’t forget to like, comment and share to spread the word and support the cause. Thanks! :-))

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/nordic-model-prostitution-approved-by-european-parliament-1438009

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Please support the cause by following us here at this blog, liking us at Facebook, subscribing to our YouTube channels, and following our Twitter accounts. Thanks! ~~
FACEBOOK: AntiPornography.org – Nonreligious, Pro Free Speech, Pro Healthy Sex & Love ~~ http://www.facebook.com/ENDSexploitation ~~
YOUTUBE CHANNELS: AntiPornographyBlog ~~ AntiPornographyOrg ~~ SayNOtoProstitution ~~ ENDSexTrafficDEMAND ~~ ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ PornAddictionHelp ~~ SayNOtoSadomasochism ~~ SafeHealthySexNLove ~~
TWITTER ACCOUNTS: @AntiPornography ~~ @ENDSexTraffic ~~ @ENDProstitution ~~ @ENDSexAbuseNOW ~~ @NoSadomasochism ~~ @PornAddictHelp1 ~~ @HealthySexNLove ~~@ExPornStarVLB ~~
Post created by AntiPornography.org Nonprofit Organization ~ Preventing and combating the devastating harms of pornography, prostitution, sex trafficking and sexual slavery, while supporting safe, healthy, equality-based sex, love, and relationships ~

Please make a tax-deductible donation to support the cause if you’re able to. Thanks!

http://www.antipornography.org/donate.html

Read Full Post »

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New Harm Story! Hope shares her tragic abuse that led to her understanding the true devastation of porn.

HOW PORNOGRAPHY CHANGED ME FOREVER

– By Hope T. (female, 37, U.S.)

http://www.antipornography.org/harm_stories.html#167794

My story is hard to share since I’m not sure exactly what happened throughout the entire ordeal. I guess I always knew something was wrong with the man that I met when he asked me to lie about our circumstances, after he sexually assaulted me. I was severely traumatized by that time in my life and the events that surrounded them, so I had no idea how to recover from them, and I ended up in a toxic field that I believe puts me speaking here now.

I felt that since we had already been intimate that there was no backing out of it. I had been married before meeting him, and only intimate with my husband before him. So, it had been just my ex-husband for about ten years, then in one night it was all gone. I felt like a slut and awful.

I dated this man and quickly learned that there was something very wrong with him. He was very abusive and hiding things, one of which was a deep interest in porn. I discovered this on his computer.

Soon enough he began to share intimate knowledge of my body with a close friend, which horrified me on top of the rape. I wondered how his friend knew, and they would pick on me and insult me. The objectification was obvious by him and his friend, as well as a serious attempt to hide things. He also had no problem being an exhibitionist himself, and would do odd things to me when we were just going about ordinary, everyday activities. I learned to just freeze and let these moments pass.

Things came back to me, such as sex to him always being an act that was very much not about connecting, but about control and performance. I learned to survive the experiences, not enjoy them. I did my best to block them out and get through them, and pretend them away — as an actress would. He would do degrading things at times that I won’t fully share, and I was terrified to confront him.

I always had a feeling that the acts were being forced or compelled on me at times, and when I would not agree to things that he wanted, he would look to others for release. I am grateful I did not agree to do many things because of my values. He had pressure me to have sex in public, despite me repeatedly saying “no” — among other terrible requests to which I had to repeatedly tell him “no.”

I was thrown into this relationship as a victim of rape — scarred and scared. He did the crime, provoking and incapacitating me, never letting me know his guilt because he knew I would go to the police. Then his entire objective, I believe, seemed to be the hinting at several ways to get me into compromising sexual moments in order to expose me and himself — whether for money, boredom, or just because he was severely twisted. I never saw any tapes, but I believe that he made them.

I think back at how horrified I am day to day. Comments he made to friends about my body, comments he made about noises I made during sex — as if they were to be heard by other people — made me literally want to vanish off of this earth.

I am one of the most bashful people on the planet when it comes to intercourse. I had been with one person, ONE male before him in nearly a decade, and he took me and tried to turn me into what felt like or what I would call a prostitute. I would not know how I feel much different from one now.

I am devastated by this realization. It was not my choice or with my knowledge, even though I always knew something was very wrong. I also knew that if I ever questioned him on certain things he would become violent, so I think I knew it was not safe to talk about.

I am still afraid. I don’t know how to piece it all together for sure. That is partly why I’m here. He was clearly diseased severely, and thought he could take, intimidate, and dismantle another woman for his gain, and with no repercussions. He didn’t care about my values or morals and what it would do to my life one bit.

I will tell you nothing has kept me up more nights as much as this catastrophe. Nothing has made me want to take my own life as much as this heart wrenching tragedy has. This is to say because it was not my choice, and he was fully cognizant of what he was doing the entire time, along with his cohorts. I would never ever have agreed to the things he began, requested, and did deceitfully.

And since I ended the relationship I had with him, which was coated with lies and abuse, I have been with no one, and have spent my time trying to make my life better. I have felt like the slut or criminal, when again I did nothing. This again makes me cringe. The things he exposed or shared were sacred things to me, and I’m still not sure how to recover, but somehow, somewhere, I will find the strength.

The thought of other men, women, or people looking at my naked flesh, and seeing me have sex without my knowledge, makes my blood boil. Especially since they saw me with a man who raped me, and while doing acts that degraded me without my consent. If he had asked, he knew the answer would have been, “No way!” I’d have blown up in a full rage if he had requested. I’d have stood there and taken whatever abuse came my way.

So in my experience… my story… my power was taken away from me and shared with who knows how many people. When I walk into the world every day, I wonder if people might know me or recognize me from sick images released by a sick man. I hope not. It saddens me beyond repair. It breaks my heart because the choice was not my own, as I have reiterated so many times throughout this passage.

I wonder how many people know that? And if so, if they would continue to feed a sick monster like the porn industry because of my story. Will anyone now watch porn and wonder, “Did that woman get tricked into this?Or is she being drugged and raped? And if so, then I will refuse to watch this. I want no part of this.”

Do you know how many women out there are dying inside because of this violation? It has changed my worldview on this industry forever.

http://www.antipornography.org/harm_stories.html#167794

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